I wish someone could understand….
Has it ever happened to you that you are struggling through something and you wish someone was there to hold you, understand you, and not judge you on whatever is going on in your head? Well, I have been through this, and I am sure many of us have experienced this.
Recently, I was anxious because some unrealistic thoughts were piling up in my mind, and I could not control the burden.
All I could think of was-
"Am I the reason everyone around me is struggling or upset?" ,
“Am I creating more problems?"
“Do I deserve enough love?”,
“Am I doing enough?”
Basically, I was questioning my existence and how it was impacting the world around me.
I started having palpitations and was scrolling through my friend list to talk to someone because interacting with close ones helps me calm down.
Trust me! Those initial few moments were mentally exhausting, as on every contact I questioned myself: “Is he/she the right person to talk about this?” “What if they start judging me?” “What if they don’t understand the intensity of the situation?" …and the list goes on…
If you know what anxiety is and how triggers can impact your mental health, you will constantly reevaluate your actions.
Fortunately, I was able to contact a close friend. I didn’t share anything about my situation; rather, we just talked about the usual stuff. Maybe I was too afraid to express myself and worried about judgment. However, the conversation diverted my attention, and I felt much better afterward.
This whole experience of having unrealistic thoughts leads to cognitive distortion.
The only feeling you are left with is, “I wish I could share with someone who would understand me without any judgement.” This lets you experience loneliness even when surrounded by people.
I am still in a dilemma about how to handle such thoughts and if it is safe to share them with someone, because even if you choose to do so, the people around you were never trained in “how to help someone with mental issues.”
What do you think when you are anxious? Do you feel unbiased when sharing with someone? Or, have you found someone who is listening to your stories and experiences with patience? Sharing your experience might help someone handle their situation well.
I look forward to hearing your amazing healing stories.
