5 Signs You Are Into People Pleasing

Everyone of us, at some point in our lives, is into pleasing others. Aren’t we? But what do people pleasing behaviors mean?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

People-pleasing is a behavior in which a person tries to please others in order to gain their approval or avoid their disapproval.

Generally, people-pleasers tend to put other people’s needs and desires above their own and sacrifice their own interests or values in order to make others happy.

Seeking validation at times is not bad, but depending on someone’s validation and taking action as per their plan or mind is wrong. Ask yourself: "What do I feel?" , “Am I just taking suggestions, or do I need validation to move ahead in my life?”

Whatever your answer is, my friend, you need to relearn that self-validation is the most important thing in life.

But, why do we start getting validation from others? How does this become a habit?

People-pleasing can stem from a variety of reasons, including a desire for validation or a fear of rejection or criticism. And if you are a people pleaser, you might be experiencing one of these consequences:

1. Burnout: Constantly putting others’ needs above your own can be exhausting and lead to burnout. You might find yourself feeling overwhelmed and stressed as to meet everyone’s expectations.
2. Resentment: Over time, you start to feel resentful toward the people you are trying to please. You start having a feeling that efforts are not being appreciated or they are being taken advantage of.
3. Difficulty setting boundaries: Do you often say “Yes”? Does it take your mental peace to say “NO”? Saying “YES” or not setting boundaries, can lead to over commitment and a lack of time for self-care. Reflect on yourself today if this is something you are struggling with.
4. Low self-esteem: You base your self-worth on how much you can please others, and this often leads to a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. This not only impacts our personal lives but leaves a mark in our professional world also.
5. Inauthenticity: Today, you maybe compromising values or put on a false persona in order to please others. But, think about this again, Isn’t this leading to a lack of authenticity in your relationships?

That’s where self-validation comes into the picture. It involves acknowledging and accepting your own emotions, thoughts, and experiences without seeking external validation or approval from others.

We need to understand that people-pleasing behaviors can vary in intensity and frequency, and not everyone who engages in them will experience all of these consequences. However, if you find yourself consistently putting others’ needs above your own and experiencing negative consequences as a result, it may be worth exploring ways to break the people-pleasing pattern.

Let me know your thoughts on this. Are you afraid of accepting this side of yourself? Or, have you already started working on self-validation?